Day Dreams and Nightmares
by castle-fan-379
Summary: Ever since the explosion of the bank and she thought Rick might have been killed, she starts to believe he might just be her One and Done.  She contiues to have nightmares about the shooting and they might just ruin her day dreams of a future with Rick
1. Chapter 1

**A/N THIS ONE ACTUALLY CAME TO ME FIRST AND HAS BEEN BOUNCING AROUND IN MY HEAD SO I THOUGHT I BETTER GET IT OUT BEFORE I GET A HEADACHE. THIS TAKES PLACE 4TH SEASON AND SOMETIME AFTER COPS AND ROBBERS BUT NO REAL SPECIFIC TIME AFTER THAT. NONE OF THEM ARE MINE**

Castle's Loft-

Beckett could really get used to this. It was a weekly ritual now. Dinner and movie night with the Castle household, it can't get any better than this. Just a loving filled atmosphere to come home to and unwind at the end of the week. They have invited her and taken her in to their little family and this feels so much like home, a home she would very much enjoy being a part of. They even have set her up in the guest room for these special nights so she doesn't have to worry about leaving too early. Came in very handy since there was usually a little wine with dinner.

Usually after dinner, they would all sit on the couch and watch a movie together, but tonight Martha and Alexis each had other plans, so it was just the two of them now. Ever since the bank robbery, the day that she thought she had lost Castle and the dread of never seeing him again, it frightened her.

_All the little things I would miss, like the coffee he always brings me. Always, his way, no, our way of saying everything will be ok, I have your back, and I'm here for you…ALWAYS. I almost lost that. _

And now she is starting to realize to some small degree what he must have gone through seeing her get shot and lying there dying. She only had the dread right after the explosion; he actually saw her get shot and bleed.

_I died right there in front of him in the ambulance. He deserves so much better than me. Someone who doesn't carry all this baggage, that is whole, not broken, with a wall around my heart that is the only thing that keeps me from tell him "I love you too" because Rick Castle, I do love you, ALWAYS and FOREVER. I am so glad that I have continued my therapy. I am ready to move on, to make you a permanent part of my life now. _Mr. Castle, I believe that I have found my One and Done.__

Castle was watching her out of the corner of his eye, the look of joy, the confusion and a little pain wash across her face. He noticed that she got that string of looks one right after the other a lot lately, but didn't want to push the issue and take the chance of running again. She was here, now, with him. Not a "couple" just yet, but here together. They were sitting on the couch, sharing a blanket, with her head on his shoulder and his arm around her as they watched TV. They were watching "Pure Country" with George Strait. He just sang "I Cross My Heart" and Beckett noticed that Castle had a small tear forming in the corner of his eye. Oh, how she wanted to say something smart about the big strong writer being a softy, but nothing really came to mind at the moment. She glanced up at him with a "are you ok" look in her eyes.

Oh, how I could just get lost in those eyes, thought Castle.

"That song gets to me every time I watch this movie. If that song just doesn't say "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you", I don't know what song does."

_Kate to self - self, remember this song. Might just come in handy someday._

"Oh, that reminds me Castle, George Strait and Randy Travis will be here in concert in a couple of weeks. Bunch of us from work are going and I was wondering if you would like to go me. Us, would you like to go with us? That is if we can tickets. They are going soooo fast."

"My dear detective, are you trying to ask me out on a date?"

_I just love it when he calls me his dear detective._

"Well, since I did tell you I was a one writer girl from now on, I guess you could say that I am, Yes Mr. Rick Castle, I am asking you to be my date to the concert."

"Ok, then Ms. Kate Beckett, I accept. Just give me a sec, I need to make a phone call."

Beckett thinks what a mood killer that is, he has to make a phone call. He takes his cell and walks to the kitchen. He dials.

"George, Rick here. I doing good and you? I was just reminded that you are going to be here in a few weeks and you never called me? What's up with that?"

_He knows George Strait?_

"Well, Randy should have called then."

_And RANDY too?_

"Great, I accept the tickets as a way of an apology. Can you make it hang on a sec, will you? Thanks."

"Kate, how many tickets do we need?"

"Six."

"Six, George. You guys going to be able to stop by for Poker night?"

_George and Randy, here, Poker night…I have to get in on this!_

"Ok, I'll let you know when it is. Gotta keep it on the quiet, don't want all the press to come out like the last time we played. Remember how that went, all those fans and the press….hey George, I gotta run, my detective friend, who owns a gun, she is giving me this stare like I really need to go. You too, bye for now."

"Castle, you know George Strait AND Randy Travis? And you never told me?"

"You never asked. I have known them for a few years now. Help with a charity they were hosting and they just happened to like my books and we just hit it off. They usually come by for a little visit and a little poker whenever they are in town. Oh, look now a Randy Travis movie is on. Care to watch it with me, Miss Beckett?"

"I would love to Mr. Castle."

**~PLEASE REVIEW~**


	2. Chapter 2

**BECKETT IS HAVING NIGHTMARES FROM TRACING HER MOTHERS KILLER. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE NIGHTMARES.**

Beckett, everyone associated with this case is dead. Everyone. First your mom and her colleagues, then Raglan, then McAllister. You know they're coming for you next. _Just don't let them get you, Rick. I need you._

Captain Montgomery's got a protective detail on me. Wasn't that hard to spot.

That's not going to be enough to stop Lockwood; you know that. Think about what they're up against. Professional killers? I-I've been working with you for three years; you know me. I'm the guy who says we can move that rubber tree plant. But you know what, Beckett? I don't think we're gonna win this.

Castle, they killed my mother. What do you want me to do here?

Walk away. They're going to kill you Kate, and if you don't care about that, please think about how that's going to affect the people who love you _Do you really love me?_. You really want to put your dad through that? What about Josh?

And what about you Rick? _I can't imagine putting you through that_

Well of course I don't want anything to happen to you. I'm your partner, I'm your friend.

Is that what we are? _Please tell me we are more than just friends, to help me get through this_

You know what? I don't know what we are.

We kiss and then we never talk about it. _Oh that kiss, it still lingers on my lips. _We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it. _I want to talk about it now, but I need your help. I was just about to tell you that I love you when I passed out. I am so sorry that I could not._ So no, I got no clue what we are. I know I don't want to see you throw your life away.

Yeah, well, last time I checked, it was my life, not your personal jungle gym. And for the past three years, I have been running around with the school's funniest kid, and it's not enough. _Knowing you love me know is enough, don't change, ever, please_. _I need you to still pull my pigtails._

You know what? This isn't about your mother's case anymore. This is about you needing a place to hide. Because you've been chasing this thing so long, you're afraid to find out who you are without it.

You don't know me, Castle. You think you do, but you don't. _Oh how I was so wrong, you know me better than I do  
><em>  
>I know you crawled inside your mother's murder and didn't come out. I know you hide there, the same way you hide in these nowhere relationships with men you don't love. <em>But I love you Rick<em>

You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy. But you're afraid. _Yes, afraid, but with you Rick, I can get through it, you can me happy with you Rick.  
><em>  
>You know what we are, Castle? We are over. Now get out. <em>Please Rick, don't go, I didn't mean it, stay with me tonight, I need you.<em>

"Beckett, Beckett, Kate, wake up. You're having a nightmare." Castle slowly removes his arm from around her shoulder, trying to wake her but not startle her awake. He doesn't quite understand everything that she is mumbling, but enough to know that this is real bad. She seems to be reliving the events leading up to her shooting and she needs to wake up.

_Damn, they are back! What have I said this time and how much did hear? I am ready to move on with this gentle, wonderful man, but not for him to find out this way. Please, don't let me have ruined this before it even starts._

"Castle, what happened?"

"You tell me. It seems you were having a nightmare and you were talking in your sleep. I think we were having some kind of argument or something? Are you ok? Can I get you something?"

She sees the concern for her well being in his eyes. Those wonderful, magnificent blue eyes. They say so much about him, what he is thinking without uttering a single word.

"A drink of water would be nice, thank you." _I wonder if he has got anything stronger?_

He gets the glass of water and returns back to the couch, handing her the water as he sits next to her.

"Do you remember anything about the dream?"

"A little. It seemed to be about the argument we had in my apartment just before Montgomery was shot. About you telling me to stop pursuing my mom's killer and how I told you we were through. You woke me up about the time I told you to get out, or something like that. You know I didn't mean it, don't you Castle?" _I don't think I could handle it right now if you did._

"Yes Kate, I know. I don't really think you would be here, me holding you like this if we were. It's ok."

"Thank you. I think I better be going to bed now. I'm so tired. Help me to my room?"

"Sure, anything you need, I am here for you."

"Always?"

"Always."

**Well, here is chapter two. I some ideas for more. Should I continue with the story or do feel this is enough? Any thoughts? **

**Reviews are always welcome.**


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